Update

We're still waiting on the first entry in the contest mentioned in the previous post. As an incentive, the first 3 entries will receive a personalized picture of me flashing the peace sign (as soon as I find my camera). Between that and the chance of eternal glory and a high five from yours truly, I fully expect the entries to start rolling in.

Contest!

Okay, so here it is, the first ever "...but awesome takes practice" contest! Here's a little background: Everyone knows those lame inspiriational pictures with the message under them that only make sense on rare occaisions that they sell in crappy stores. For instance, they'll have a picture of a bunch of people climbing a mountain with a group of Sherpas with this written under it, "Teamwork: The Last Bastion of Fortitude."

Anyway, there is a brilliant website out there that allows you to make your own humorous inspirational poster. I'll provide the link to this website at the end of the post. All you need to create one of these posters is a funny or embarassing picture and some amount of wit, the rest is pretty self explanatory. So here's how the contest works: Whoever submits to me the funniest poster as determined by the judging panel (me), wins an amazing prize! What could this amazing prize be? Well along with eternal glory, the winner will receive a high-5 from each member of the judging panel! Yes, I'm serious, its that big of a deal!

Anyway, I'm not sure how the submission process will work, so just figure out a way to get them to me. I guess you can email them to me, and I will post it on this very blog if you indicate you would like me to, and the judging panel deems it is appropriate for this highly reputable blog.

Anyway (and yes, I did just begin my third consecutive paragraph with "anyway"), here is the link to the website: http://diy.despair.com/motivator.php
Now get out there and make me laugh! I'm tired of doing all the work in this cyber relationship!

Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there but especially to the only one (as far as I know) that occasionally reads this blog. Of course I'm talking about my Dad, the person that you all have to thank for my love of puns, my drop dead gorgeous blue eyes, and of course my freakish left-handedness. Dad has taught me many things over the years such as how to use a Windsor knot in a tie (I forgot that one and instead use the retarded 3rd cousin of the Windsor, the half Windsor), that pretending to be a wine connoisseur almost makes you a real one, and that its okay to laugh at unintentionally humorous parts of serious movies...even if no one else in the theater does. He also deserves a great deal of kudos for creating "the plum tree move," the most unstoppable basketball move for slow white men...when playing against other slow white men.

Anyway, here's to Dad's everywhere, especially mine. Keep you nose to the grindstone Dad.

Embarassing Moments...

Readers, I must admit that I am embarrassed. A while ago I promised you all that I would post more frequently, and well, that has proved to be a steaming pile of (insert favorite poop word here). I have lied to you all, and for that I apologize. They say that when you apologize you are supposed to show remorse, do some other crap, and most importantly do something to make amends for your mistake. To that end, as a act of contrition for this ever so embarrassing event, I will now share with you all a number of my most embarrassing moments that I may or may not have admitted to otherwise:

-In sixth grade my pants fell down while performing in a skit in front of the entire grade.
-While taking the admission exam into Oak Hill before third grade, I wouldn't say I pissed myself, but yeah, there was a bit of urine on the crotch of my pants.
-Senior year of high school I fell on my face while trying to jump up onto the corner of the stage in Jurgens hall (about 3 1/2 feet high) and kick-off while "freestyle walking."
-Right after the aforementioned fall, I did it again to prove that I did it on purpose...I didn't...and it hurt more the second time.
-I just got done watching the first season of the new version of Battlestar Galactica, and I liked it.
-In the past year I have given myself 4 seemingly permanent scars, none of which were received in anything approaching a badass fashion.

I'm sure there are many more moments which I've forgotten, so feel free to list your favorite embarrassing moment I've had in your presence or at least told you about. Beyond that, be prepared for more of me making a fool out of myself for years to come.